


cruelly, love

by asukesay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating will change, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8513911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asukesay/pseuds/asukesay
Summary: He lets go in the sense that he lets Daichi leave, off to the big city to start his new life with his new team and the new friends Suga knows he will make.But the wound never fully heals.





	

.

.

They're 17 when they break up.

 

17 and headed to different universities in different cities, hours away by train.  

Daichi is going to a school in Tokyo with an up-and-coming volleyball team, and Suga knows that Daichi will get them where they want to be.  Suga is staying in Sendai - he'll be studying to become an elementary teacher - a job he thinks he'll be good at.  He and Daichi kept the volleyball club in line, didn't they?  And he's always been good with children. 

Daichi tells him that they could make it work, he asks Suga to reconsider because he's promising,  _Koushi we can make this work_.  And it's a beautiful sentiment, touching - but it's not realistic.  He knows the percentage of high school sweethearts that actually end up together - his mother has been reminding him, disapproving, every day since he and Daichi announced their relationship. 

Foolishly, for a moment, Suga bites his tongue and hesitates; because the look in Daichi's brown eyes, so deep Suga feels he could drown in them, is so earnest and so heartbreaking he's almost convinced to stay so he doesn't have to see it again.  Almost convinced to stay because Suga _believes_  Daichi.  Has always believed in him, and if he says they could make it work then maybe...maybe they could...

 

No.

They couldn't.

 

He loves him, _oh_ how Suga loves Sawamura Daichi, but he has never been competitive by nature, and with the miles between them, the late nights they'll be spending apart, their whole lives stretched out in front of them...it's not a competition Suga wants to take part in.  Daichi, who is unwavering and intelligent and talented and so, so genuine, has the whole world at his feet; a world that goes beyond their small town and someone as completely ordinary as Sugawara Koushi.

It's easier to cut things off now - a clean break before Daichi leaves for university. It gives Suga a chance to look into those brown eyes one last time, memorize the curve of Daichi's jaw and the shape of his lips.  It gives Suga a chance to make things as painless and amicable as he can, with the least amount of hurt feelings.

He’s thankful he at least got a year to belong to Daichi and have Daichi belong to him.  A year of love and of laughter - of victories and heartbreak of playing their final match together on the same court.  A year of constant butterflies and Suga not even being able to breathe because Daichi was _breathtaking_.  

A year that went by too fast…a year that Suga will remember and cherish for the rest of his life.

But Daichi has the rest of his ahead of him, Daichi's is just beginning, and Suga loves him so much he doesn't want anything holding him back.

Not even him.

 

He tells himself that there is no need to drag this out for longer than they have to.  That it's better to part as friends than to have the distance and the pressure build up until the resentment became something they couldn't move past.  It's better to keep his happy memories preserved forever, untouched and perfect.

So Suga kisses him goodbye at the train platform, and it is slow and sweet and sad, and Daichi's lips are salty from his tears and his strong hands are warm on his face where he's cupping Suga's cheeks like he never wants to let go, and Suga never wants to let go – 

…but he does. 

And eventually, so does Daichi. 

 

He lets go in the sense that he lets Daichi leave, off to the big city to start his new life with his new team and the new friends Suga knows he will make.  He lets go in the sense that he's alright when months go by and Daichi doesn't call, doesn't text, doesn't email.  Lets go in the sense that catching a glance of dark close-cropped hair and broad shoulders on the train to university makes his heart ache for just a few moments before Suga remembers to _breathe_. 

He lets go in the sense that this is what is best, for the both of them. 

But the wound never fully heals.

 

Not completely. 

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is going to take a different turn that I didn't want to spoil in the tags. Please keep in mind that the rating and tags will change. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments always appreciated!


End file.
